


Where I Left You

by Ambrose



Category: Rookie Blue
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-22
Updated: 2016-10-22
Packaged: 2018-08-24 00:42:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8349517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ambrose/pseuds/Ambrose
Summary: Gail has to deal with Holly coming back into her life without warning.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Grumpy_Grizzly](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grumpy_Grizzly/gifts).



It had been a long day, with a quite difficult case and uncooperative witnesses, and all Gail wanted to do was go home, shower and crash. Maybe if she had some energy left she'd also order some food. But she still had to go by the ME's office first, to update Traci on the autopsy report. It was pointless, they barely had a couple hours to get started, they probably hadn't even opened up the body yet, and it was late, why couldn't she just go by in the morning before parade? But then the thought of waking up earlier, only to find the ME's office still closed, didn't exactly fill Gail with joy.

At least the ME on that case wasn't very chatty, so it'd be over with in no time, and Gail could go home.

The last thing she expected when she pushed open the door of the office, was to find Holly there instead of the usual boring old guy. That was definitely not something she needed, nor that she wanted to deal with that night. Or ever.

Holly had turned towards the noise, though, and was now looking at her, hesitant, so it was not like Gail could run away.

"Hey," Holly started.

"Hi. I was. looking for someone else. I'll just. I'll come by later." 

She walked backwards through the door, and was about to close it when Holly called to her. "Wait!"

They were doing this now then. Great. Gail didn't bother to repress her grimace. "I thought you were gone to the Gay City."

"You make it sound like I died."

"You're dead to me."

She turned around, briskly walking through the hallways  towards the building door. If she could make it to her car without hearing what Holly had to say, then maybe... But Holly was going after her.

"Wait! Gail, please! Let's just talk, alright?"

"What is there to say?" Gail snapped, suddenly stopping in her tracks and turning around. She hadn't expected Holly to be so close. She walked a few steps backwards. "We never really worked anyway, did we? We had fun for a while, and that was it. And then you left. That's all there was, and that's not worth talking about."

"We both know that's not what happened. And I tried staying in touch, Gail. You never picked up the phone. What did you want me to do? You had your own life, your  own goals. And just like you wouldn't have wanted me to force you to come with, I know I'd have resented you if I stayed, but..."

"So why are you back then?" She didn't know why she asked. She should have just turned around again, gone home like she had planned at first. But her story with Holly had always left a bitter taste in her mouth, like something unfinished you can't close the door on, and now Holly was there again, and she'd probably have to see her, work with her... And she wanted to get this talk over with. Part of her was also weak and wanted to hear Holly out, to forgive her, to try this whole thing again, because as badly as it ended (partly because of her own stubbornness, even though Gail would never admit it to anyone but herself) Holly was the best thing that had ever happened to her, the first person she felt she could really _trust_ , and nothing since had made her feel as alive as she felt when she was with her. 

"SanFran was great, and the job was interesting, and challenging, but I didn't see myself spending the next thirty years there, you know? So when a position reopened here, I negotiated to come back. Besides, I never quite got used to earthquakes every other day."

Gail almost smiled, but then she caught herself. "Well, good catching up, I guess," she said, making sure it sounded the least sincere. "I'm gonna go now. See you around." 

She left without leaving Holly enough time to say anything more. Whatever had just happened, she could deal with it another day. She texted Traci to let her know the ME had already left, and drove herself home. She hadn't realised how tense she was until she stepped out of the car and felt the pain in her shoulders. And there was no stopping her thoughts from going back to Holly over and over, all through the evening and way into the night, when sleep escaped her. She'd look like hell in the morning, and the others wouldn't stop commenting on it... Yeah, Holly being back was the last thing she needed right now. And yet, she couldn't help that slight part of her that was happy about it. Second chances, right? Or third, in this case. Gail didn't get a lot of those, and she usually messed them up, but she could at least try. Even though she was certain she fucked it up already with that first meeting.

 

The next few days were awkward, with Gail realising that the ME was sick and Holly was taking over on this one. She did not expect to have to deal with her on the regular so quickly, and her pride prevented her from trading duties with McNally. She'd invariably mock her, and even if it was just gentle teasing, Gail would surely snap, and that'd give her away quicker than anything. Not that there was anything to give away, she tried to convince herself. 

Thankfully, Holly let Gail get away with just being professional, and they didn't talk about their personal life for the duration of the case, only about the victim and the condition of his corpse, which was something Gail never knew she'd be glad for.

Eventually, however, the case was solved, and the team - Andy, Traci, Dov, Chloe and Chris - headed out to the Penny to celebrate, and Gail, although she was tired, decided to go with, thinking a few drinks might help her relax. Besides, she deserved it, for surviving a week of Holly being back in town. 

Only, some time around her second glass, Holly walked into the bar. This sounded like the set-up of a terrible joke, and Gail did her best to ignore the medic as she went to the bar. If Holly saw her, she gave no sign of it. Maybe Gail could go on ignoring her, and even though she felt her mood got considerably worse, the evening wouldn't be so bad. If only she could just mind her own business and focus on whatever Chloe was going on (and on) about... 

Andy, sitting next to Gail, caught her eyes drifting to the bar for the umpteenth time, and followed her stare. 

"Isn't that your ex-girlfriend, Gail? What's she doing here?" 

"Shut up, McNally!"

At least she'd had the good grace of speaking low enough that only Gail could hear her.

"Woah, okay. It's just, I thought you said she went to San Francisco, and, well..."

"She _did_ , okay? I don't know what she's doing here, and I don't _care_ ", Gail hissed. 

"Well, good job looking unaffected, then!" 

Gail could have punched her, but she was kinda right. Where had her emotionless asshole façade gone when she needed it most?

"You should go talk to her," Traci piped in from the other side of Gail. 

So she'd overheard after all... Great. Now everyone was gonna know... Gail gave a quick look at the others, but Chloe was engrossed in her story, Dov was listening to her every word, and Chris was drifting off, eyeing some girl on the other side of the room. Any other day, she'd have punched him for his lack of subtlety, but for now she found it useful that he was paying her no mind. 

"Seriously," Traci went on, "I know you don't like people talking about your feelings but you were clearly affected when she left. And she's back, so she _clearly_ didn't meet anyone serious enough in California..." 

She was too clever by half... Gail glared, and Traci raised her hands in apology. "I'm just saying... She looks lonely, you could play the knight in shining armour." She nudged Gail. 

"Fine, fine. But just _out of pity_ , not because I want anything out of it!" she grumbled as she got up.

"I never said anything like that," Traci grinned. "You were best friends, right? Maybe you should go get your _friend_  back, is all I was saying." Her smile clearly implied otherwise, but all Gail could do was punch her in the shoulder before she made her way to the bar. 

"Hey."

Holly turned her head towards her, confused. "Hey. I thought we were doing the ignoring each other and pretending like nothing happened thing?" 

"I changed my mind." She located a free stool and sat next to Holly, gesturing to the barman for another drink, before she pointed her glass to Holly. "I'll need a lot of those if we're gonna have this discussion."

"Okay." Holly did her little frown-smile thing she did when she was confused, and Gail would lie if she said she didn't miss it, or that it did not make her melt and forget the past few years ever happened at all for the sake of going back to when they first were together. But there was no doing that. 

"What happened to your adoption plans?" Holly finally asked, breaking her train of thought. 

It wasn't something Gail had really talked about with anyone ever since it happened, but that Holly even remembered... And as Traci had said, they were best friends once. She could trust Holly with everything, back then. She was maybe the only one she could really be herself with, and she really missed that. So, she tried. And soon enough it was like before - before everything happened - and talking to Holly, telling her about the whole ordeal and how they ultimately refused to let her adopt Sophie. She really hadn't opened up about that to anyone, she realised, and yet here she was, telling Holly all about it as if she hadn't disappeared from her life for years. Well, that was Gail's fault, too, for cutting her out entirely. But she just couldn't deal. 

"I'm sorry," Holly said when Gail was done. "You'd have made a great mom!"

Gail suddenly found it hard to swallow her own saliva. And she was _not,_ absolutely _not_ going to cry in a bar, in front of her ex-girlfriend and the people she worked with. She downed her glass instead. At least now she had an excuse for her eyes watering. But that didn't fool Holly, who was now rubbing soothing circles on her back, and it was all just too much.

"They didn't think so, though," Gail finally choked out.

"I'm surprised you didn't kick their ass." 

"I should have!"

Silence stretched between them, but it was no longer the uncomfortable one it was at first. Holly still had her hand on Gail's back, and made no move to take it off. 

"Holly?"

"Hm?"

"I shouldn't have blamed you for everything. It was my fault too if it didn't work. I should have given us more than half a chance..."

"How was it you said? Like a cat in a tree, right? Don't worry, I get it." 

Gail smiled. It was so endearing that Holly remembered! 

"I can't blame you, I couldn't just... disappear on such short notice and expect you follow. And it'd have been awkward staying in touch..." Holly went on. "I should have told you sooner. before I accepted the job, or something. And I don't expect you to let me back into your life just like before just because I came back, but I was hoping..." She hesitated, looking at Gail for a sign that she would push her away again. "I was hoping you'd agree to go on a date with me?"

It took all of Gail's willpower not to yell _yes_! 

"Okay. I guess we can do coffee," she said, as nonchalantly as she could. She really hoped it would work this time around! 


End file.
